I’m not stupid. Show me the candy first, then I get in the Van! - Unisex T-Shirt

Regular price $19.00

Shipping calculated at checkout.

I’m not stupid.  Show me the candy first, then I get in the Van!

Of all the shirts that I wear, this is the one that actually got me into trouble.  I was at a bar/pool hall in Dallas, TX and a lady came up to me and told me how much my shirt offended her and that it was extremely inappropriate!  All I could think about is how glad I wasn’t wearing something that might actually be offensive.. Lol  Honestly, I like all of these shirts because they really are not offensive and are just simply funny.  But we all know there are a few Karen’s out there waiting for us.  

But seriously, I’m not stupid.  Rules are rules, so show me the candy!

Sizes are men's, so please downsize 1 for women.


This t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for all.

• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Ash color is 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester
• Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester
• Athletic and Black Heather are 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester
• Heather Prism colors are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester
• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz (142 g/m2)
• Pre-shrunk fabric
• Side-seamed construction
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping

Size guide

  XS S M L XL 2XL 3XL 4XL 5XL
Length (inches) 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 36
Width (inches) 16 ½ 18 20 22 24 26 28 30 31